Facebook status: Really Freaking Happy (:

Today I told him "I love you" and was about to sign off, not expecting a reply, when he sent "And I, you".

I've said I can be without him, and I can. Don't get me wrong; I've been steeling myself and was ready to live my life without considering him to be a part of it. I can. Despite this, I do love him. So if I have the opportunity to consider him part of my equation...How can I say no?

Today for the first time in two months, he told me he loved me.

I'm on the verge of tears, I'm that happy ♥

P.S. He even remembered not to say "Me, too".

good morning, everyone! it's a sunny Sunday morning here where I am; literally (: I was just browsing through weheartit.com (the site from where I get most if not all of my pictures) when I saw this;

simple love.png

"I find happiness in the simplest of things", "Encuentro felicidad en las cosas más simples", "Je trouve le bonheur dans le plus simple des choses", "Trovo la felicità nelle cosa più semplici" (the last two courtesy of google tranlsate).

Porque al fin y al cabo, de qué trata la vida? De la suma de muchas cosas pequeñas, cada una de ellas simples en sí. Es cuando las mezclamos que nos armamos un tremendo lío de frustración y...lío (?) Una vez que llegamos a aplanar esa mezcla, y lo hacemos simple de nuevo, aunque sea más grande con más partes, vuelve a ser una fuente de felicidad, de logro, de tranquilidad. Wow, super filosófica :D Igual, posta. Las cosas simples son lo más. Como esto:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o

La necesidad más básica humano, más simpleque eso imposible (A ajajajajaj disculpen, es un día soleado, estuve en la pileta, estoy de buen humor, estoy preparando asado...Buen Humor FTW <3

Ciao★

Thank you.

Thank you. You know who you are.♥

Facebook status: Emotionally Unavailable, biatch.

You know when you have everyone going against something you want? Something you think is worth it? What do you do? Do you back down or try and hide it? Well I never have. There was this one issue in my life that 99% of the people I talk to and live with on a daily basis told me was a complete and utter waste of time. They told me I was out of my mind, it was stupid, it was going to do no good to anyone, I was investing time, energy and feeling into something that couldn't last. That was almost two years ago. To this day, those 99% of people kept insisting these same points; it was bad, it was a waste and I was being stubborn, stupid and some other s-word implying a lack of common sense. And yet, there I was, two months ago, still there. Still fighting for what I thought was worth it.
But finally, I caved. There was a breaking point; something a certain person said to me, a question implanted in my mind that I needed to answer alone, without any external influences. What are you really holding on to?
So I backed away (because this issue I'm referring to was a relationship with someone I loved dearly and who loved me very much) and asked myself that question over and over again. Was I holding on to a memory of something that didn't exist? Was I holding onto the idea of a perfect love that had no foundation? Or was I holding on to something that was really there, really worth it, worth the wait, worth the sacrifice, worth the fight?
I came to the conclusion that yes. It really was. Not it, he. He was worth it.
So I started making plans. Plans he knew nothing of and will never know of again, because in these past two months I've realised a few things, pondered some things and am very freaking pissed off.
I have my flaws. Serious flaws. I can be hysterical, I have mood swings and yes, I hate mushrooms and coca cola (as well as pepsi). But when I say that I love someone I mean it. I got an e-mail yesterday confirming something I was waiting for to be able to uproot my whole life and move far from where I live to be with this person. I was so excited. Up until now I haven't been able to physically move myself to be with him due to a complete and utter lack of interest or support from the main branch of my family. Yet it's not a minor issue. Changing college, changing cities, leaving behind and entire life (friends, family, dog♥) so I sat down and reflected. Really reflected.
I'm not going to post the details of the facts I went over, but basically right now I don't even know if he still loves me. I've known him for almost three years and right now I couldn't tell you what his hair looks like. Whether he's pierced his nose or lip or had an operation or what movies he's seen lately or what band he's heard lately that he loved. I've always been able to tell. From two lines of conversation, I would know if he was smiling or not, I knew that he talked to me because he loved me, missed me and wanted to know how I was doing. Now I don't know if he talks to me from inertia or because there is something about me he still likes.
I love him. I really, truly do. But he's not worth that anymore. I'll support him, help him, advise him, laugh with and/or at him, I'm going to be there for him, and as of next year I'll probably be able to visit him (I say probably because I don't know if he'd want that) but I'm going to keep my emotions to myself. I answered the e-mail 20 minutes ago, basically saying thanks but no thanks. I turned down a job, an apartment and a college in one stroke. I've decided I'm still going to be here for him but I'm not going to risk everything for him right now.

I can't leave everything behind for something I'm not even sure of anymore, can I?

I'm fine now, I really am. I don't need to be in a relationship and I don't want to be. Honestly, if it's not him then I have no interest (:
Ciao★

Memories

les cuento, señores, señoras y drag queens (?) que yo Ginni me estoy mudando de cuarto. como paso a un cuarto más chiquito y como total tengo mil y un cosas guardadas en los rincones de mi cuarto que no sirven para nada, estoy aprovechando para sacar lo inútil/fuera de uso. mi piso casi ni se ve de todas las cosas que tiene...toda la mañana estuve ordenando mis papeles. me di cuenta que he dibujado MUCHO en clase. pero mucho en serio. onda, 3 bolsas negras repletas de dibujos viejos, y me quedé con una caja casi entera .-.
el 90% de ellos fueron hechos en hojas rayadas, por ende, en clase.
y después me pregunto por qué no tengo promedio 9 (?)
bueno cuestión, ahora que terminé papeles y adornos (no tenía tanto x suerte) estoy procesando libros. mi casa en general está llenísimo de libros, y a medida que voy leyendo algún que otro libro me lo guardo ahi en mis bibliotecas que, al inicio, estaban bastante vacíos. en estos 4 años estando en esta casa, he comprado bastantes libros. no entran más libros en mis bibliotecas xD asique ahora tengo una pila de libros mios, libros de la familia y libros que aún no ordené..obviamente un par de libros copadísimos de la flia se agregaron a la pila mia, pero bueno, los libros me aman, qué puedo decir (?)
después me faltarán los peluches y la ropa...voy a tardar más con los peluches que con la ropa, se SABE.
dejando de lado la lista de cosas que he hecho y me faltan para hacer, me refiero un poco más al título de esta entrada; memories.

ALTAS memorias surgieron de cosas escondidas entre las pilas de boludeces acumuladas. un papelito con una nota escrita y pasada debajo del banco, una medalla, una cinta, una foto, un dibujo, un collar, una roca...de todo, cada uno con su historia única y (generalmente) gracioso (: no es para que me lo comenten abajo, pero se les ocurre alguna historia o alguna memoria que surga de cada uno de esos objetos? me imagino que si e.e ahora pensá lo que es encontrar como 40 en una misma mañana...bastante fuerte (L
Bueno, ya está. Basta de procrastinación, a ordenar e.e

Baby steps, baby steps...

It's hard letting go. It really is.

But there's a point in which you just have to

stop fighting and let life go on.

There's a point in which the only thing you're going to do

is ruin all the good memories with a bad ending.

In the end, all you're going to be able to remember
is that bitter taste in your mouth.

It's hard letting go. Especially when it's the best thing to do.

I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm....fine?

Damn.

Aclaro: No soy fanática de Avril Lavigne. Tampoco me gusta su forma de actuar y ciertas actitudes que ha tenido como persona. Sin embargo, hay ciertas canciones de ella que me mueven. Esta es una.

I can be tough
I can be strong

But with you, it's not like that at all

There’s a girl that gives a shit
Behind this wall
You just walk through it

And I remember all those crazy thing you said
You left them running through my head
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

All those crazy things we did
Didn't think about it just went with it
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
Here, Here, Here
I wish you were here

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
Near, Near, Near
I wish you were here.

I love the way you are
It's who I am don't have to try hard
We always say, say it like it is
And the truth is that I really miss

All those crazy thing you said
You left them running through my head
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

All those crazy things we did
Didn't think about it just went with it
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
Here, Here, Here
I wish you were here

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
Near, Near, Near
I wish you were here.

No, I don't wanna let go
I just wanna let you know
That I never wanna let go
Let go, Oh, Oh,

No, I don't wanna let go
I just wanna let you know
That I never wanna let go
Let go, Let go, Let go...

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
Here, Here, Here
I wish you were here

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
Near, Near, Near
I wish you were here. ♫

I hate how this song makes me cry.

Muéranse n.n★